


The Key of the Spiral

by Nelja-in-English (Nelja)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Mathematics, Mental Health Issues, Mention of Ivo Lensik, Mention of the Distortion, Statement Fic, fractals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 13:17:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21253997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelja/pseuds/Nelja-in-English
Summary: Statement of Stepan Lensik, regarding his work on fractals.





	The Key of the Spiral

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shipwreckblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipwreckblue/gifts).

Clouds are fractals, as is the coast of England or cauliflowers; they are everywhere in the world. You can look at them from a distance or put them under a microscope, and they are the same fascinating figures, more than just lines or surfaces. We can look into the infinitely large or the infinitely small and they're the same. 

Some people say fractals are just as much of an abstract mathematical model as circles or straight lines, since they can't represent atoms and quanta, neither the universe as a whole. Though I'm not sure about this, mathematics taught us that you don't need to go to infinity to find the infinite. It's everywhere. Maybe fractals are not the whole world, but they are our world, and that's enough for me.

Human bodies are not fractals, you'll say, except for the inside of our lungs. But our minds and souls are. If you're thinking about a topic, you can break it into tiny sub-topics, and for everyone of them you can do the same, you can get as deep as for the initial one, if you really want to. And having your superficial opinion about one subject, it doesn't give a lot - but having you getting deep into it, however small it seems, you can basically have a guess at who you are, your whole person.

Some fractals are exactly identical at all levels, the most simple ones, but the others - they are almost identical. It's the same beautiful spirals, soft serpents, tendrils reaching for you, telling you they are the same as you, so you should understand them. So you can know. You can calculate the shapes, you just have to take some measures, and use some numbers. Numbers don't actually exist, you know? They are mathematical constructs too, infinite, and you can get lost in only one of them. Pi is the main example for this, but mine are better.

I was so close to getting the key of understanding fractals, of knowing that however deep you are, you can know what they really are, know the shape, you can find a way to get out. But I met him.

He was beautiful. Like an angel, but not just this. Like one of the beautiful fractal shapes I was working on. I had a moment of very sharp, very brief hope, and then he whispered in my ear that he was going to devour me. And he meant it.

Since then I've been living in fear and guilt. My fractals, the work of my life, I now know, they don't love me as I love them. I should stop. But I don't want to. I can't. My son says I’m mad, he’s a nice boy, and I think he might be right. It’s the first time I realize he must be right. Because I’m terribly afraid to die, and understanding everything is still more important. 

I leave you all that I have. Mathematics reviews won’t take it, but I want someone to know my work. I hope that one of yours will read it one day and understand too.

When I’ll die it won’t be for nothing.


End file.
